The Quiet Wealth of Enough: A Parent’s Guide to Raising Thriving Children

Gratitude, Luck, and Preparation...

People often ask us: “How did you raise four healthy, happy, and successful children?” It is humbling to hear the question. Each of our young adult children built a life of purpose—strong careers, committed relationships, and financial habits carrying them forward.

The short answer is simple: we are appreciative and lucky. But as Seneca reminded us long ago, “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” God provided the opportunity to raise our four beautiful children. What mattered in the following decades was how we prepared our children, the choices we made, and the values we modeled along the way. In other words, we did not rely on chance—we worked to curate luck, the kind of luck parents can activate through preparation and intentional choices.

This article is written to help parents tilt the odds in their children’s favor—not through shortcuts, but through preparation, presence, and intentional choices. While no outcome is guaranteed, the approach we share can guide you toward raising confident, resilient, and thriving young adults.

By sharing our experience, we hope to offer encouragement, practical anchors, and a reminder of how intentional choices compound into lasting results.

Reflecting on our parenting approach, a core, loving principle served as a fundamental input:

1. We chose intentional presence.

Then, two principles guided our parenting process:

2. We taught seeking what not to seek.

3. We taught our children to be self-learners.

This article shares how these principles guided our day-to-day parenting choices.  What those choices looked like in practice, why we made them, and how they helped shape our children's emergence to adulthood.

This article was inspired, shaped, and sustained by my amazing wife and parenting partner, Patti Hulett. She carried the greater share of raising our children day-to-day, and I am simply blessed to put our shared story into words.

Table of Contents

1. Introduction: Gratitude, Luck, and Preparation

2. The Parenting Presence Threshold

3. Why We Made Presence a Priority

4. Seeking What Not to Seek

5. Teaching Our Children to Self-Learn

6. The Financial Dimension

7. Top 10 Practical Parenting Lessons

8. A Word on Grace

9. Conclusion: Thriving with Quiet Wealth

10. Resources for the Curious

The Foundation We Inherited

Reading this article may give the impression we had a clear game plan from the moment we became parents. The truth is, while we had ideas, like most young parents, we were long on enthusiasm and intention but short on the wisdom gained from experience. What helped immensely was the example set by our own families. Patti and I were blessed with five wonderful parents. (Patti's Dad remarried.) Their love and support created the foundation on which we built. We are forever thankful.

2. The Parenting Presence Threshold

The Division of Labor

From the beginning, we approached parenting as a conscious division of labor. Patti, with her master’s degree in education, poured her energy into raising our children every day. As they grew, she extended her gifts outward—building a successful tutoring and life-coaching business—while keeping home as her center of gravity.

I (Jeff) built a career in behavioral economics, banking, data science, risk management, and consulting. My work meant travel and long hours, but I still coached teams, attended games, and carved out rituals keeping us connected.

Could we have made more money if Patti had worked outside the home full-time? Very likely. But more income was not the goal. We knew from experience and research a time-tested truth: Above some threshold, more money is not likely to lead to more happiness.

Presence as the True Threshold

Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman and Angus Deaton showed that once people cross a basic income threshold (about $60,000 in 2010 dollars, unadjusted for inflation today), the marginal gain in happiness from additional income declines sharply. This insight is captured in their observation: “Money doesn’t buy happiness, but lack of money certainly buys misery.”

We came to believe something similar applies to parenting: there is a presence threshold. If parents fall below it, children feel scarcity—time scarcity, attention scarcity, love scarcity. No amount of outsourced childcare, enrichment, or money can replace it.

Our solution was simple but not easy: Patti would over-index toward presence, while I over-indexed toward provision. It was not tradition driving this decision—it was intentional design.

The structure provided our children the most valuable gift we could offer: availability.

Our Division of Labor Decision Process

First and foremost, our division of labor decision process was practical. There were two essential realities based on how to most efficiently and effectively deliver presence to our children while providing for our family's needs:

1) Based on our early career job opportunities, it was clear Jeff's ability to provide income as a banker and data scientist was greater than Patti's income potential as a teacher. While we may not like how our society rewards these professions, this was certainly our situation at the time. But to some degree, this reality made our decision about the division of labor a more obvious one.

2) Given Jeff could provide more from our initial job opportunities, the critical question became: Does Patti want to stay home with the children? The division of labor operates better when one person focuses more on family presence. But if the best-suited specialist does not want to specialize, this could defeat the potential value from the division of labor. In our case, Patti was excited and felt appreciative to specialize more in home presence.

As our children grew and attended local public schools, Patti transformed her teaching and parenting skills into a tutoring and life coaching business. Perhaps paradoxically, her ability to provide outside the home emerged from our division of labor, motivated by the presence we desired for our children. I use the word "emerged" intentionally. It took a leap of faith, not so obvious at the time. The more obvious path was to be a teacher in the school system. The better path that emerged was Patti's tutoring and life coaching business.

3. Why We Made Presence a Priority

At this point, you may be thinking: "Good for you! But this is not our reality. We want a 2-income household out of the box."

We recognize many families have two parents working outside the home, and they can absolutely raise thriving children. What matters most is not a specific work arrangement, but intentionality. Every family must design their own balance of provision and presence. For us, it meant Patti carried more of the daily presence at home, while I carried more of the provision outside the home. The key was being deliberate about the tradeoffs. The timeless lessons of the economics profession held true: Division of labor and specialization are the path to optimal resource allocation. For our family, this meant while Patti and I shared in our family's goals and motivations, we had different specialties in how we delivered those goals.

There is also a place for external help. Excellent teachers, childcare providers, and coaches can play a vital role in a child’s growth. In Patti’s practice as a tutor and coach, she works with families to augment her client's presence, not replace it—supporting both parents and children in ways strengthening the family’s ability to thrive. But even the best outside help cannot substitute for the role of parents because parenting is not just about logistics—it is about values transmission.

Children need to see how parents solve problems, resolve conflicts, and prioritize relationships. They need to witness love in action, not just hear about it.

In our home, this looked like:

• Meals and Rituals: Regular family dinners, high/low spotlights for each child, Sunday planning sessions, bedtime reading, and talks.

• Coaching Moments: I often brought home lessons from work—explaining behavioral economics or decision-making in ways our children could grasp. Patti built learning into everyday play and schoolwork.

• Unstructured Play: We left room for free, unscheduled play. This gave our children space to express curiosity, experiment, and learn without rigid direction. Play was often where imagination flourished and self-learning took root.

• Shared Struggle: We did not remove every obstacle. Struggle builds resilience. We gave our children the gift of knowing how testing, struggle, and failure were an accepted part of learning. Outsourcing too much risks raising children who are polished, yet fragile.

• An Education Focus:  Our home was full of books and expectations.  As we will discuss later, our education focus was self-learning.

The goal was never perfection. It was consistency. We wanted to be the guides who were always there, even when life was busy or messy.

4. Seeking What Not to Seek

The second principle was resisting the cultural pull to “keep up.” In an age of social media and our comparison culture, it is easy to believe good parenting is part of a "made-for-Instagram" lifestyle. The "keep up" distractions are endless -- such as the "right" schools, expensive vacations, and résumé-building activities.

Part of the “keep up” challenge is a false narrative I often hear: “It is too expensive today! Maybe you could live on less income in your time, but that is no longer a reality.” Here is the truth: Patti and I heard the exact same argument 30 years ago... it was the anthem of our generation, too!  Over time, we came to believe this argument reflected cultural pressure more than financial reality. I call it the "BNPL Fallacy," named after the wealth-destroying consumer industries built on 'Buy Now, Pay Later' consumerism. You can raise a family on less—and often less truly is more. The challenge is less about absolute income and more about resisting the urge to chase cultural expectations.

Later in the Financial Dimension section, we will discuss how Patti became our family CFO and drove down costs. This was our model to realize the efficiency available from the division of labor. However, if the desire to be cost-focused is not a family cultural priority, then the BNPL-based cultural pressures are more likely to cause unhealthy seeking. A family cost control culture may certainly include spreadsheets, but cultures are ultimately centered on beliefs and something making you happy. Seek to make the effort of saving money an energizing activity. Buying a high-value something for less should be celebrated! Plus, your children should celebrate with you!

The next framework became an anchor for us—a set of reminders about what not to chase as parents. Our Christian-based faith helped keep us grounded in these principles, reminding us true wealth is not measured in possessions, prestige, or short-term wins, but in faith, relationships, and helping others.

Our personal journey was anchored in the Catholic tradition, where the miracles and teachings of Jesus Christ offered a foundational guide for our family. While we recognize faith finds many paths, and not all people express their beliefs through Christianity, the value of time-tested religion remains universally high. When pursuing clarity on what not to seek, a religious framework provides a powerful faith-delivery vessel. It replaces the fear of uncertainty with the hope of faith. It helped us impart resilience during uncertainty, encourage the critical practice of delayed gratification, foster a sense of love and trust for our community, and teach the value of work. We encourage you to choose a faith delivery vessel best suited to help your family seek what not to seek.

In my article The Rewired Life: Seeking Better, Not Just More, I described the GOOD LIVE-R framework for what NOT to seek:

• L – Luxury

• I – Ignorance

• V – Vanity

• I – Immediate gratification

• R – Risk avoidance

Each of these "NOTs" distorts priorities. Each can mislead parents into chasing what does not matter. For us, the framework was not about judgment—it was about clarity. It reminded us to redirect energy away from superficial pursuits and toward what truly matters: nurturing children, strengthening family bonds, and living out our faith with integrity. Over time, it became a decision beacon: we could hold choices up to the NOT framework and quickly confirm whether a decision was in bounds.

And here is the part many parents will recognize: following this framework often made us the “bad guys.” Not seeking what others sought meant our children were sometimes told “no” when their friends were told “yes.” They may have missed out on certain trips, gadgets, or activities their peers enjoyed. We were fine with this role. We trusted the bigger picture.

What we found, as our children grew into adulthood, was striking: they did not remember the "things" they could not do. They remembered the love and care they experienced. They remembered dinners, conversations, laughter, and guidance. In hindsight, what felt like restrictions in the moment became guardrails keeping them grounded—and gave them the freedom to flourish later. These "NOTs" became their springboard.

Applied to parenting, the lessons were clear:

• NOT Luxury: Thrifting for high-quality second-hand clothes and related family needs was our standard. Our children learned a valuable economic lesson: They learned to determine the practical usefulness of a product or service first, and only then do they look for the most cost-effective way to provide that benefit.

• NOT Ignorance: When they are young, help them build tools to ask and answer their own questions—this builds the foundation for lifelong curiosity. As they grow, invite your children into the decision process. Model curiosity.

• NOT Vanity: Do not build a childhood for Instagram; build one for adulthood resilience.  Doing things motivated for looking good in front of others is a behavioral trap. Not seeking vanity empowers not seeking luxury.

• NOT Immediate Gratification: Screens and shortcuts were rationed. Focused work and patience were celebrated.  Financial education started with savings habits and spending restraints. Jobs helped teach the value of time and money.

• NOT Risk Avoidance: Protect against ruin (health, safety, integrity), but encourage appropriate risk-taking (sports, entrepreneurship, creative projects, saying no to friends).

By seeking less of what did not matter—even when it made us unpopular—we created margin for what did: presence, love, and growth.

By not seeking the "5 Nots" it freed up our children's capacity to seek what matters most. The trap occurs because the "5 Nots" outcomes are more immediate, whereas healthy-seeking outcomes are delayed. So, if you fill up your life bucket with the "5 Nots" first, healthy seeking will get crowded out. So our shared faith and "5 Nots" guideposts enable building a healthy seeking capacity.

5. Teaching Our Children to Self-Learn

The most enduring gift we gave our children was not answers—it was the expectation they would find answers themselves.

Why Self-Learning Matters

School is a tool for learning, but education happens when a child learns how to learn and is motivated to learn. Like any tool, school serves a narrow purpose. It is up to the carpenter—in this case, the parent and child together—to use school as a tool, alongside other resources, to craft something lasting. Parents often place unrealistic expectations on schools, forgetting their limits. Once you see school as a tool rather than the whole workshop, your partnership with it improves, and your expectations become more realistic. We focused on helping our children own the process—so they could thrive even when school fell short.

Self-learners develop two priceless traits:

• Curiosity: the fuel for lifelong growth.

• Resilience: the capacity to push through confusion and setbacks.

Our children attended Virginia public schools from kindergarten through master’s degrees. We chose them intentionally—Virginia offers one of the strongest systems in the country. Like any system, it was not perfect. They had inspiring teachers at times and discouraging ones at others. Public schools required resilience and a thick skin, which was the point. Life does not guarantee perfect bosses or smooth situations, so we taught them to own their education, fill gaps, and adapt.

They also gained something private schools cannot always replicate: diversity. Public schools exposed our children to a wide range of backgrounds, perspectives, and challenges. They learned to work with peers who thought differently, came from different circumstances, and sometimes held opposing views. Those experiences built empathy, broadened their perspective, and gave them the confidence to thrive in diverse workplaces and communities.

We lived in a community with excellent public schools, though many families chose private options. For us, self-learning was the bridge to make the most of public school and redirect private tuition costs toward future wealth-building. Public schools worked for us because we leaned into the struggle. We saw our children's challenges in public school as opportunities. To us, sending our children to private schools would have been a significant lose-lose scenario, spending more to buy our children out of self-learning and resilience.

A reader at the beginning of their parenting journey may worry they do not have the necessary technical skills to lead a self-learning environment suitable for their children. Nothing could be further from the truth. With a decent GenAI prompt, there is amazing, high-impact information available. Your public school teachers will answer your questions. The primary requirement is the willingness of the parents to be present and tackle the inevitable challenges children pose to well-intentioned parents.

How We Encouraged Self-Learning

• Modeling Curiosity: Patti created “learning labs” in the kitchen and backyard. I showed how I solved problems at work, often letting them join in.

• Life as a Lab: Our children played unsupervised. They had safe spaces to experiment and learn.

• Scaffolded Struggle: We resisted the urge to over-tutor. Grades mattered, but growth and resilience mattered more.

• Technology as Tool: Just as my childhood “Tell Me Why” books launched my curiosity, we encouraged our children to use tools like Google and, later, Generative AI. Always with one caveat: technology should accelerate learning, not become a crutch.

• Device-free zones: Smartphones can be helpful, but they can easily devolve into addictive behavior. Our home was one of presence. We delayed device introduction. In the home, we had "device rules" to properly manage the 'when' and 'how' they could be used.

• Sports as a Classroom: We prioritized athletics to build confidence, set goals, and practice teamwork. Sports offered daily lessons in discipline, leadership, and resilience—the same qualities essential for lifelong learning. Choose "life practice" activities like sports, working for your family.

• A Home of Books: Our home displayed books prominently, and Mom and Dad were visible readers. We modeled the habit we expected—reading regularly and discussing what we learned—so books became both a resource and a shared conversation.

A note on reading: This article emphasizes reading as a means for language acquisition. For some, reading is a challenge. Please see the resources section for alternative language acquisition resources.

The Results

By college, our children owned their education. They graduated from college with honors, not because they attended elite schools, but because they knew how to teach themselves. Today, they thrive professionally—not entitled, but grateful and adaptable. They are self-learners for life.

Strong study habits played a role, but self-learning goes beyond. It is the combination of study habits and discipline, along with confidence, capability, and motivation—the traits turning good students into resilient adults. In my years as a recruiting partner for a global consulting firm, I saw the same pattern in the new college graduate candidates we hired. Employers considered strong grades and relevant majors as a self-learning signal. What sets candidates apart is the ability to continue learning and thrive when the environment changes. Self-learners stand out because they do not just succeed in the classroom, they bring adaptability and resilience into the workplace—qualities mattering even more than the name on a diploma.

Self-Learning and the Future of Generative AI

Self-learning is not just a timeless skill—it is becoming even more critical in the age of Generative AI. The students who thrive in the future will be those who own their curiosity and then use AI as a multiplier. AI can generate options and clarify concepts, but it cannot replace the human drive to question, explore, and apply.

Employers are quickly coming to the same conclusion: a new employee who is both a self-learner and skilled at leveraging AI is like getting two brains for the price of one. The human brain brings creativity, resilience, and judgment, while the AI brain brings speed, recall, and pattern recognition.

The foundation, however, remains the same: self-learning must come first. Once it becomes a behavioral habit, AI can scaffold and accelerate the process.

6. The Financial Dimension

Parenting is full of financial tradeoffs. Choosing presence often means earning less. But by managing our seeking, we learned to achieve 'enough.'

• Saving for the Family: A practical benefit of our division of labor was how Patti emerged as our family CFO. She aggressively took on the mantel of driving down household costs. Saving money requires the willingness to make it a priority. Deciding to go from a two-income to a one-income household was scary. The one thing surprising us both was the degree to which Patti could backfill her lost income with savings from expense control. As Patti coaches her counselees, the ability to be a successful family CFO can be easily learned, but only if you have the proper desire and willingness. Naturally, as her supportive partner, I cheered and reinforced Patti's cost focus.

• A Healthy Relationship with Debt: We prioritized living below our means and using debt only as a tool, not a trap. Mortgages helped us build stability, but we steered clear of consumer debt leading to scarcity tunnels and narrowing attention. Unmanaged debt does more than drain money—it steals focus, creativity, and joy. By modeling a disciplined approach, we gave our children both flexibility in the present and a framework for long-term financial freedom.

• A Healthy Relationship with Risk: Life requires risk. Our hunt should NOT be to eliminate as many risks as possible with insurance or related products or services. This approach is ridiculously expensive. Accept exposure to smaller risks. Keep a rainy day fund for self-insurance. Only insure those risks leading to ruin. Celebrate with your children when your savings account is used for the purpose intended, to mitigate small risks.

• Education Value: Our children attended affordable public colleges. As self-learners, they gained little from the high price tag of more prestigious schools. In today’s world of skyrocketing tuition, this distinction matters: a student who knows how to learn can turn any classroom into a launchpad. In the timeless words of Warren Buffett, one of the world's all-time greatest investors: “Price is what you pay, value is what you keep.” Self-learning made it possible to pay less while capturing maximum value. An extension of the self-learning value is the dual-enrollment and community college path. It is a great way to both a) build resilience and b) earn necessary general education credit hours at a significant discount.

• The Self-Learning Dividend: Self-learning creates a “resilience premium.” Employers value adaptability, problem-solving, and grit—traits often stronger in students who succeed without concierge-style support. This means self-learners can attend less costly schools, still excel, and enter the workforce with both a strong résumé and a strong balance sheet.

• Compound Impact: By focusing less on luxury and more on resilience, our children are now financially independent young adults. Every dollar not spent chasing status—or paying down avoidable student loans—was a dollar saved, invested, or used to build flexibility for the future.

An interesting paradox held true: by not seeking wealth as the end, our children have built it as a byproduct.  A byproduct they can use to help their family and community.  Self-learning amplified this paradox, making their education both more valuable and less expensive. In a world where college costs often leave young adults shackled for decades, our children stepped into life unshackled—and able to focus on sharing their gifts, building, giving, and growing.

7. Top 10 Practical Parenting Lessons

For parents wondering how to apply these Quiet Wealth lessons, here are the patterns helping us:

1. Define Your Presence Threshold: Decide what “enough time” with your children looks like—and protect it fiercely.

2. Pre-Decide Tradeoffs: Talk about career and lifestyle choices before children arrive. Clarity prevents resentment later. Tradeoffs not made in advance create an environment more likely to lead to unhealthy seeking.

3. Build Rituals: Anchor family life with recurring rhythms—meals, planning, bedtime talks. Family time is the default, not the option.

4. Celebrate living below your means: The family CFO should be supported and celebrated. Your children will benefit from seeing how the family saves money to make room for the important stuff.

5. Choose your family's faith-delivery vessel: Children receive tremendous value from learning to manage uncertainty. It could be the greatest gift parents give their children. Established religions have a reliable approach for reinforcing lessons on managing uncertainty, such as delayed gratification, self-learning, resilience, presence, and family values.

6. Let Struggle Build Strength: Resist the temptation to be the “bulldozer parent” who clears obstacles. Struggle is not the enemy—it is the training ground for resilience. When children work through challenges themselves, they develop the confidence and adaptability adulthood requires.

7. Design for Self-Learning: Give children scaffolded, age-appropriate responsibility for their education. Step in as a coach, not a concierge. Be authoritative, not authoritarian.

8. Value School as a Training Ground: Grades were expected as a sign of mastery, but we framed school as more than performance. It was a place to practice time management, resilience, and self-learning. We coached as needed but held a higher bar: use school for building resilience habits lasting far beyond the classroom.

9. Value Work: Our children worked throughout their upbringing—chores at home and paid work outside the home. Balancing jobs with school, sports, and friendships taught them discipline, purpose, and time management. Work became a gift, not a burden—showing them money should be saved and spent wisely, and wealth building starts with responsibility.

10. Reject Comparative Culture: Live your values, not your neighbors’ expectations. In today’s world, social media is virtually impossible to avoid, especially as they get older.  Be their social media partner.  Do not avoid – manage, set expectations, and inspect what you expect.

These are not formulas, but guideposts. Each family must adapt them to their own circumstances. The great irony of parenting is this: we pour our time, energy, and love into our children so, if we succeed, they will one day walk out the door—ready to build a life of their own.  But the good news is, they still come back to visit.

8. A Word on Grace

The concept of presence—being available and attentive to your children—sounds great in theory. The reality is more difficult. Raising children can be exhausting. They can push buttons you did not even know you had. As rewarding as parenting is, it can also be one of the most demanding things you will ever do.

We did not do this perfectly. No parent does. We made mistakes. We argued. We had seasons of fatigue and frustration.

What sustained us was grace—for ourselves and for each other. Our Christian faith reminded us grace is not earned, it is given. Faith, forgiveness, and starting again tomorrow proved more important than any single tactic.

As Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” This truth gave us strength when we felt inadequate, and perspective when we stumbled.

Children remember warmth, not flawlessness. They remember presence, not perfection. And grace—received and extended—made presence possible. Mostly, our grace for each other as parents taught our children how their parents loved each other, modeling the kind of partnership we hoped they would seek in their own lives.

9. Conclusion: Thriving with Quiet Wealth

Raising children is not about prestige or perfection. It is about presence, preparation, and purpose.

We chose to make parent presence a priority. We chose to seek what not to seek. And we chose to raise self-learners. Those decisions required tradeoffs—less income, fewer luxuries, and resisting social comparison. But they gave us something priceless: four thriving adults who are building their own lives with curiosity, resilience, and love.

When the day comes and our time on earth ends, this will be our legacy—the dash between the beginning and ending dates of our lives. The dash will tell the story of how we lived, what we valued, and who we loved. And for us, it has made every tradeoff worth it.

Our dash describes our quiet wealth.

The good news is you can achieve the same. Every parent can shape their dash with presence, faith, and intentional choices, building a foundation of love and resilience for their children.

In parenting, as in life, the paradox is clear: by seeking less, we lived more. And in living more, we gave our children the space to flourish.

10. Resources for the Curious

A Note on Reading

Throughout this article, we have emphasized reading—books on the shelves, parents modeling the habit, and conversations about what we read. Reading was central in our home, but we also recognize it is not equally accessible to everyone. Roughly one in five Americans has some form of dyslexia or related condition, making reading a real challenge.

Our purpose in highlighting reading is not about the act itself but about what it enables: language acquisition. 

Language builds the growing brain, fuels curiosity, and underpins the self-learning habit. For our family, reading was the primary path to language acquisition. For others, it may be audiobooks, podcasts, oral storytelling, or visual learning. If dyslexia affects your family, the goal remains the same—find the tools and methods unlocking language and sustain the joy of learning.

Here are a few resources to explore alternative ways of acquiring language when traditional reading is difficult:

• International Dyslexia Association. “Dyslexia Basics.” International Dyslexia Association, 2023.

• Shaywitz, Sally. Overcoming Dyslexia: A New and Complete Science-Based Program for Reading Problems at Any Level. Vintage, 2020.

• National Center on Improving Literacy. “Resources for Families.” U.S. Department of Education, 2024.

When it comes to writing articles, I spend more time in edit mode than I do in the original drafting-of-the-idea mode. I consider editing an important part of the creative process. When I edit, I listen to my draft even more than I re-read it. I find my "hearing brain" has a unique perspective compared to my "seeing brain." I generally use the free reader available with my iPhone for listening to my own or other articles. I'm sure there are other high-quality commercial readers available.

Related articles from Jeff Hulett

This article is grounded in a broader set of writings where I explore the ideas of seeking, decision-making, and self-learning in more depth. For readers who want to go further, here are some essential resources:

• Hulett, Jeff. “The Rewired Life: Seeking Better, Not Just More.” The Curiosity Vine, 2025.

  Introduces the GOOD LIVE-R framework and explains why learning what not to seek often creates space for deeper fulfillment.

• Hulett, Jeff. “Seeking What Not to Seek: How to Align Achievement and Happiness.” The Curiosity Vine, 2024.

  Explores the evolutionary and behavioral economics roots of our drive to seek, and how reframing that instinct improves well-being.

• Hulett, Jeff. “School Is Not Education: How Self-Learning Builds Smarter, Stronger People.” The Curiosity Vine, 2025.

  Shares the importance of raising self-learners and how curiosity and resilience serve as the ultimate preparation for adulthood.

• Hulett, Jeff. “The Hidden Wealth of Time: Turning Challenges into Opportunity.” The Curiosity Vine, 2025.

  Examines how adopting a growth mindset transforms time and struggle into long-term opportunity—an idea closely tied to resilience in parenting.

Together, these writings form the intellectual and practical foundation for the parenting choices described here. They reinforce the same lesson: by seeking less of what the world tells us to pursue, we create the margin to invest in what matters most.

Related Resources

• Hulett, Jeff. “A Lifelong Approach to Job Decisions and Being the Best Version of You.” The Curiosity Vine, 2023.

  Explores structured decision-making, the role of dopamine in job satisfaction, and the importance of anticipating challenges. It parallels the parenting focus on preparing children to make confident choices throughout life.

• Hulett, Jeff. “Challenging Our Beliefs: Expressing Our Free Will and How to Be Bayesian in Our Day-to-Day Life.” The Curiosity Vine, 2023.

  Shows how belief-updating and choice architecture empower better decisions. The parenting analogy is clear: children thrive when they are taught how to update their own beliefs through self-learning.

• Hulett, Jeff. “The Essential Guide to Partnering with GenAI: Achieve Both Accuracy and Precision.” The Curiosity Vine, 2025.

  Emphasizes structured decision frameworks and human-AI collaboration. Parents who raise self-learners can help their children adapt in a GenAI world, where curiosity and adaptability are competitive advantages.

• Hulett, Jeff. Making Choices, Making Money: Your Guide to Making Confident Financial Decisions. Personal Finance Reimagined, 2nd Edition.

  Provides the structured decision-making process underpining much of this article: weighing tradeoffs, avoiding noise and bias, and building lifelong financial habits. These principles shaped how you and Patti approached tradeoffs in parenting.

• Hulett, Jeff. “From Good to Great: Navigating AI’s Precision While Tackling Hidden Bias.” The Curiosity Vine, 2024.

  Explores how human judgment refines technology outputs. In parenting, the same lesson applies: children need both tools and guidance, but judgment and values ultimately steer outcomes.

Taken together, these writings reinforce the same message this article delivers: intentional decision-making, resilience through struggle, and clarity about what not to seek lead to thriving lives — whether in parenting, career, or finance.